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There are three primary romantic attachment styles. One quick way to discover your romantic attachment style is to choose which of the following descriptions best describes you. Take a minute to do this:
Secure attachment style: I find it relatively easy to get close to others and am comfortable depending on them and having them depend on me. I do not often worry about being abandoned or about someone getting close to me.
Avoidant attachment style: I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others. I find it difficult to trust them completely and difficult to allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous when anyone gets too close, and often, love partners want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being.
Anxious/ambivalent attachment style: I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner does not really love me or will not want to stay with me. I want to merge completely with another person, and this desire sometimes scares people away. (Kenrick, Neuberg, & Cialdini, 2007 p.270)
In a 2- to 3-page paper discuss the following:
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- Based on the above descriptions what romantic attachment style best describes you?
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- How has this attachment style affected your past and/or current relationships?
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- How has this attachment style also affected your non-romantic relationships?
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- Is your romantic attachment style similar to the attachment style you had with your parents when you were young?
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- If it is the same why do you think it has not changed? If it is different what experiences as an adult do you think lead to this change?
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- What type of situations might an adult experience that would shift their childhood attachment style to a different adult romantic relationship style?
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- Secure (as a child) to anxious/ambivalent (as an adult)
- Avoidant (as a child) to secure (as an adult)
